Assignment 1: Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)

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Dear Professor Brad,


    I hope you are having a great week. I would like to take the opportunity to give you a short introduction of me.

    I am Wong Kei Man, currently a year one student in sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services). I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in hotel & leisure facilities management. I found my interest in the facilities industry during my three-year-study in polytechnic. With that, I decided to study engineering as I wish to gain more technical knowledge and be able to contribute to building an eco-friendly environment in the future.  

    Being a good listener is my strength in communication. I worked as a front desk officer in Fairmont Singapore during my internship. A hospitality worker needs to listen to guests’ needs to provide services that are within guests’ expectations. Besides that, it is also necessary to listen to guests’ complaints so that we can understand their difficulties and provide them the alternatives. On the other hand, I am weak in public speaking. My voice always trembles during the presentation as I get anxious easily. With that, I tend to increase my speaking speed when presenting which leads to unclear pronunciation.  

    I am hoping to improve my public speaking skills so that I can speak confidently and fluently in front of people. Besides, I would like to further refine my writing skills. It is quite often of me struggling with the choice of words and building of sentences while writing a project. By improving my writing skills, I can express my viewpoints to the audience precisely. I believe the improvements in my communication skills through this module can assist me in communicating better with people verbally or non-verbally.

    I hope you have known me better through this email. Thank you.


Best regards,

Kei Man


Read Terry & Sebastian's emails

Revised on October 6, 2020.

Comments

  1. Brad BlackstoneSeptember 17, 2020 at 1:49 AM

    Thanks much for the effort here, Kei Man. I look forward to seeing feedback from your blogging group members, and I will comment in more detail after that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. dexterSeptember 17, 2020 at 10:00 AM

    I can tell you are a good listener, u will always give people constructive feedback and encourage people around you. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dexterSeptember 20, 2020 at 11:02 AM

      Dear Kei Man

      Thank you for sharing and it was pleasure reading through your blog post. I was able to know you more as a friend and I feel we do share similar strength, here are my thought on your blog post.

      firstly, the post was concise and detail, the overall flow was good you even gave example which was clear. The organization structure I feel was not consistent, the introduction what you could have done to make aesthetically neat is to combine the introduction together. you elaborate your strength well and gave real life experience on why you were a great listener.

      you should separate your weakness into one new paragraph so it much more clearer.

      "Every time during a presentation, I will be anxious and my voice started trembling when I am speaking"

      There are too many I in the sentence maybe you could rephrase it to " My voice will start to tremble during every presentation as I get anxious easily," to reduce the use of " I" you could rephrase it to make the overall flow neater.

      lastly the language used I felt it there was a bit of Singlish being used. for example
      in the third paragraph second last sentence you wrote. " Then, I will tend to speed up when presenting which leads to unclear pronunciation. "
      you could rewrite as " I tend to speed up during prestation which lead to unclear pronunciation."

      overall the flow of the content was good and I was amazed by your unique attribute.
      Hope to know you more as person and I am sure u will do well in school

      your sincerely
      Dexter


      Delete
    2. Chubby_girlOctober 6, 2020 at 12:14 AM

      Dear Dexter,

      Thank you for your comments on my letter. I will look into it to improve my writing. Much appreciate it.

      Best regards,
      Kei Man

      Delete
  3. dowantellyouSeptember 19, 2020 at 9:50 PM

    Hello, Kei Man,
    Thank you for sharing about yourself. I have learnt new things from your experience during your internship.

    Firstly, your content is good. You did well in using the language and made me understand in a better way. But, I think you should change " It is important for a hospitality worker to listen...." in the second paragraph. In my opinion, you can say " A hospitality worker must listen...", so you can make it more conciseness of your sentence.

    Secondly, the organisation of your letter is very well with all the points fulfilled. You have stated your objectives and goals very clearly with the elaboration points. I quite interesting in your experience of the internship because I have a background in facility management so we can share about it next time.

    Lastly, I strongly agree that you are a good listener as you can provide ideas and opinions when we were in the same group. On the order hand, I think you can try to ask more questions if you do because it may help you to build up more confidence during a presentation.

    Yours sincerely,
    Terry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chubby_girlOctober 6, 2020 at 12:16 AM

      Dear Terry,

      Thank you for your suggestions. I had taken your advices and edited my letter.
      Thank you.

      Best regards,
      Kei Man

      Delete
  4. BryanSeptember 19, 2020 at 10:15 PM

    Dear Kei man,

    It is nice hearing from you through this letter, thank you for sharing with me more about yourself through this letter, and through this letter I was able to learn more about you as a person and as a friend. I am writing to share with you on my thoughts for your letter.

    Before I start to share with you my thoughts on your letter, I would like to say that your letter has answer the questions that was tasked to us, u managed to help me learn more about you. First, I will start talking about content, I feel that for first paragraph, it should be short and simple, with a brief introduction of who you are, and then further sharing more subsequently. But subsequently, you managed to share with us and meet the objective of the assignment that was tasked to us.

    Secondly, I will be sharing with you regarding organization, I felt that there was a flow, after sharing your weakness, you managed to further elaborate it and have a link between the both paragraph by explaining what you wish to improve on for the next line.

    Lastly, which is your language used, in the second paragraph, it was heart-warming to see that the reason why you wanted to study engineering was to be able to increase your understanding and do your part to make a ‘eco-friendly environment in the future’, and I agree that everyone should have this mindset to continue moving forward. In the next paragraph, I agree that it is important to listen to what comments people has to offer first, in your line ‘to listen to guests’ needs in order to provide services’ I believe we can amend it ‘to needs to provide services instead’. And in the last paragraph, in the line ‘I am able to speak confidently and fluently in front of people’, I believe it can be further enhanced to ‘I can speak confidently and fluently in front of people’.
    Hope that you would be able to succeed what you set out for.

    Yours sincerely,
    Bryan Lim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chubby_girlDecember 1, 2020 at 11:00 PM

      Dear Bryan,

      Thank you for reading my letter. I will improve my writing according to your advice for improvement.

      Best regards,
      Kei Man

      Delete
  5. celineSeptember 20, 2020 at 9:39 AM

    Dear Kei Man,

    It was a pleasure to read your letter and got to know more about you. I am writing this as a feedback for your self-introductory letter. I am glad that you have found your interest in the engineering field and decided to pave your way to gain more knowledge.

    Firstly, with content wise, for the first paragraph, I feel there could be more content on how you found interest for facilities management. You well-elaborated your strengths with your working experience as a front desk officer at Fairmont Singapore. Overall, you fulfilled the task's requirements.

    Regarding the organisation of this letter, it was really neat and inlined. The flow of this letter writing is very smooth and understandable, like you started with your background and interests, followed up with your strengths and weaknesses and ended off with your goals from effective communication class.

    Lastly, the language in this letter is clear and concise. I had no difficulties understanding your letter. I think this sentence “A hospitality worker needs to listen to guests’ needs to provide services that are within guests’ expectations.” can be written as “As a hospitality worker, it is our responsibility to listen to guests’ needs and provide services for them.”

    I can agree that you are a good listener and I believe that you are a great speaker as well. I hope we can build up confidence to speak up in the future.

    Yours sincerely,
    Celine Chong

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chubby_girlDecember 1, 2020 at 10:57 PM

      Dear Celine,

      Thank you for reading my letter. I am appreciate your suggestion on the area that I can improve in my writing.

      Best regards,
      Kei Man

      Delete
  6. Brad BlackstoneOctober 3, 2020 at 5:31 PM

    Dear Keiman,

    Thank you for this well written letter. You address the central requirements of the assignment and add clear detail for color. I appreciate the fluency and your active participation in this module so that it can help facilitate your growth

    You've also received detailed feedback from your peers. Of course, you need to acknowledge your peers' input so as to move toward the application of responsive communication. It's clear from what you write that you're a good listener, which demonstrates empathy.

    In terms of langauge use, this is a fine post. Just take note that the word 'besides' has a meaning slightly different from 'besides that,' which is what your paragraph warrants.

    I look forward to reading more of your writing this term

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chubby_girlDecember 1, 2020 at 10:56 PM

      Dear Prof Brad,

      Thank you for taking time to read my letter. I had editted the letter according to the advice suggested from my classmates.

      Best regards,
      Kei Man

      Delete

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